Tuesday, January 10, 2006
... and so it is
Somehow today's weather coincides with my mood and feelings. Rainy, gloomy, downcast, and depressing. I do recall that on this particular day for the past few years, the weather has always been gloomy. I wouldn't say that God feels sad fer me, or that somehow life seems to be cruel to me cos I'm already very fortunate to begin with; but for the fact that losing a part of you at such tender age can have serious detrimental effects, esp when one is so young and has to take up the burden that is left behind.
Sometimes I feel that I am losing part of memories abt her. I thank God fer this gift of forgetting things so easily, which btw can be quite a pain in the ass when it comes to exams. But its sad that none of us can really rem what is she like. All I rem was her strict discipline, the tears and the heart-wrenching moment when she depart. Everytime I visit her, I will sob silently to myself and telling myself to be strong for the family; the last time when I was abt to leave for US.
I almost forgotten abt today. Nearly. But not when I called Grandma and she reminded me of it. Ha... wat fillal son.
What if.... shes still here? Will there be someone that misses me at home? I know my sweet Grandma does. Im not too sure abt Dad thou, since he was busy throughout his life. So much so that he does not know what is going on in my life. How I wish of a functional family! Something that I'm determined to give my kids.
I miss you Mom. How I wish to depart from here and be with you. Wherever you are.
Sometimes I feel that I am losing part of memories abt her. I thank God fer this gift of forgetting things so easily, which btw can be quite a pain in the ass when it comes to exams. But its sad that none of us can really rem what is she like. All I rem was her strict discipline, the tears and the heart-wrenching moment when she depart. Everytime I visit her, I will sob silently to myself and telling myself to be strong for the family; the last time when I was abt to leave for US.
I almost forgotten abt today. Nearly. But not when I called Grandma and she reminded me of it. Ha... wat fillal son.
What if.... shes still here? Will there be someone that misses me at home? I know my sweet Grandma does. Im not too sure abt Dad thou, since he was busy throughout his life. So much so that he does not know what is going on in my life. How I wish of a functional family! Something that I'm determined to give my kids.
I miss you Mom. How I wish to depart from here and be with you. Wherever you are.
# posted by gougou @ 9:13 PM 
