Thursday, March 30, 2006
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I can't believe I din blog fer such a long time! Well think I am running out of excuses to say that I am busy with my life without stopping fer a while and reflect upon it.
Got some trouble at home... I really pray that things get settled before I get back! I really believe that this is a test from God, testing my paitence and trust in Him. Putting my brothers in trials as they try to smooth out this big one.
It seems to me that life can never be smooth-sailing fer me. I must say I am not as fortunate as my frens ard me, yet I can't compare it this way because I know there are worse scenarios out there that I do not know of. Every time when I stop and reflect, to think back of my life, its always the bad experiences that seem to stand out, leaving myself in a state of self-pity and start to compare against ppl who have better lives than me. Don't I deserve it as well?
I told ppl that I can't wait to get back to Singapore, which is true. But not back home. I have been questioning: what is home to me? A refuge where you can do what you please, forget your worries and shut yourself out from the world; or simply a place where you rest ur tired feet before moving on with your busy life? I don't ask for fancy places, nice houses or mansions; just a place where I can feel the warmth from the people who care, a place where I do not need to worry.
I am not looking forward to go back home. Avoiding my problems? Yeah I am. I feel so weary, fatigued from all that nonsense thrown on me.
I've got 5 more weeks to Singapore; can't wait to see my frens there! Pity jin and the rest are still in Aust, or else it will be party all day! I need to drink, to wild-out, and stop thinking of whats going to happen next.
Got some trouble at home... I really pray that things get settled before I get back! I really believe that this is a test from God, testing my paitence and trust in Him. Putting my brothers in trials as they try to smooth out this big one.
It seems to me that life can never be smooth-sailing fer me. I must say I am not as fortunate as my frens ard me, yet I can't compare it this way because I know there are worse scenarios out there that I do not know of. Every time when I stop and reflect, to think back of my life, its always the bad experiences that seem to stand out, leaving myself in a state of self-pity and start to compare against ppl who have better lives than me. Don't I deserve it as well?
I told ppl that I can't wait to get back to Singapore, which is true. But not back home. I have been questioning: what is home to me? A refuge where you can do what you please, forget your worries and shut yourself out from the world; or simply a place where you rest ur tired feet before moving on with your busy life? I don't ask for fancy places, nice houses or mansions; just a place where I can feel the warmth from the people who care, a place where I do not need to worry.
I am not looking forward to go back home. Avoiding my problems? Yeah I am. I feel so weary, fatigued from all that nonsense thrown on me.
I've got 5 more weeks to Singapore; can't wait to see my frens there! Pity jin and the rest are still in Aust, or else it will be party all day! I need to drink, to wild-out, and stop thinking of whats going to happen next.
# posted by gougou @ 2:05 PM 
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Hi, enjoyed your blog. I found it while blog-hopping, and wanted you to know I'm praying things will look up for you soon and God will show you His grace and peace.
Regarding how life never seems like smooth sailing, I agree, it doesn't. But then, it's not supposed to, not here. If life were perfect here, we wouldn't need a Heaven. Plus, if one single sin, no matter how small, deserves eternal punishment away from God (Romans 6:23, and we know God is just), then, to answer your question, none of us deserves a pleasant life. Eternal life and peace are gifts, meaning they can't be earned. If they could, they would be pay for our good behaviors, and not truly gifts.
Lately I've been struck at how much God has shown me grace and mercy. My life hasn't been easy either, with more painful memories in my childhood than good. In fact, I'm beginning to blog my testimony at http://lensofthepast.blogspot.com, and it's just getting started. There's much more pain and darkness ahead of what I've already written. A shorter testimony is at http://comfortcafe.net/?p=61 .
I'm only sharing this to say that despite all these things, God is good, and He has spared me from so much pain and misery, I'm sure more than I even know. I love God, and I love life, and I love that God has spared me from an even worse life, including eternity in Hell, which is what I justly have earned. I also love that God is here even when life gets tough, and that by going to Him I can find peace, and that even when life is good, there's the wonderful privelege of spending time with Him, which is actually enjoyable, moreso than other things could be. I don't always spend as much time with Him as I should, as sometimes life seems to get in the way, but I ask forgiveness and try harder, and with His help I am beginning to do better. I'm not perfect, that's for sure, but God gives me Christ's righteousness just because He loves me, and because I ask. Pretty cool, eh? Anyway, I'm not wanting to preach, but I did want to say you're in my prayers. May God bless you. Take care.
-Brooke
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Regarding how life never seems like smooth sailing, I agree, it doesn't. But then, it's not supposed to, not here. If life were perfect here, we wouldn't need a Heaven. Plus, if one single sin, no matter how small, deserves eternal punishment away from God (Romans 6:23, and we know God is just), then, to answer your question, none of us deserves a pleasant life. Eternal life and peace are gifts, meaning they can't be earned. If they could, they would be pay for our good behaviors, and not truly gifts.
Lately I've been struck at how much God has shown me grace and mercy. My life hasn't been easy either, with more painful memories in my childhood than good. In fact, I'm beginning to blog my testimony at http://lensofthepast.blogspot.com, and it's just getting started. There's much more pain and darkness ahead of what I've already written. A shorter testimony is at http://comfortcafe.net/?p=61 .
I'm only sharing this to say that despite all these things, God is good, and He has spared me from so much pain and misery, I'm sure more than I even know. I love God, and I love life, and I love that God has spared me from an even worse life, including eternity in Hell, which is what I justly have earned. I also love that God is here even when life gets tough, and that by going to Him I can find peace, and that even when life is good, there's the wonderful privelege of spending time with Him, which is actually enjoyable, moreso than other things could be. I don't always spend as much time with Him as I should, as sometimes life seems to get in the way, but I ask forgiveness and try harder, and with His help I am beginning to do better. I'm not perfect, that's for sure, but God gives me Christ's righteousness just because He loves me, and because I ask. Pretty cool, eh? Anyway, I'm not wanting to preach, but I did want to say you're in my prayers. May God bless you. Take care.
-Brooke
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