Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Christmas Carols
Somehow, sitting inside Starbucks and listening Christmas carols seems like my fav past time these couple of days. However just the tot that I will be spending Christmas alone kinda suck. Never once had I tried having a Christmas dinner with my family, let alone the process of waiting till the stroke of midnight on Christmas Day to unwrap presents. All I recall about Christmas for me, will be myself drinking away, drowning whatever tots or emotions that might surge up during this festive season. I don't blame my dad for not being around for this season cos he simply does not see the need to celebrate, nor anyone else. Its nice to celebrate, very nice indeed. But not necessary. Sometimes I do envy those who get to go through such warm festive season with their family and friends. But that's life. Just blame it on luck, nothing else. If I keep on comparing with others just to blanket myself in my own misery on the things I do not have in my life, I would have committed suicide long ago.
But a word to people out there: there isnt anything that in life that is fixed. Security is but a state of mind, fooling yourself that what you have right now will surely be there always. Some people are born with that kind of luck, thank God for that. Not me, I'm sure. Too much at stake as always.
Anyway, Christmas is a time to celebrate. To give thanks and be surrounded by loved ones. Such a sight, I could almost imagine it. Will stay at imagining as always. Sitting at Starbucks, listening to carols. Maybe thats what I'll do for Christmas. This reminds me of an episode for Mr. Bean, except that its set in real time. Mr. Bean posting Christmas cards to himself, buying presents for himself, it was hilarious initially. Guess everyone who is away from home tends to get this kinda feeling, of isolation and loneliness. Guess I like it this way. In my heart, I long for days when I am enveloped by that kind of warmth. The kind that will be around no matter you are the perfect kid, or the black sheep of the family. It will just warm you regardless of who you are.
'Tis the season, when I miss my mom the most.
Whatever I do not have in my life, I will give it to the one I love the most. After all, Christmas is my fav festive season.
But a word to people out there: there isnt anything that in life that is fixed. Security is but a state of mind, fooling yourself that what you have right now will surely be there always. Some people are born with that kind of luck, thank God for that. Not me, I'm sure. Too much at stake as always.
Anyway, Christmas is a time to celebrate. To give thanks and be surrounded by loved ones. Such a sight, I could almost imagine it. Will stay at imagining as always. Sitting at Starbucks, listening to carols. Maybe thats what I'll do for Christmas. This reminds me of an episode for Mr. Bean, except that its set in real time. Mr. Bean posting Christmas cards to himself, buying presents for himself, it was hilarious initially. Guess everyone who is away from home tends to get this kinda feeling, of isolation and loneliness. Guess I like it this way. In my heart, I long for days when I am enveloped by that kind of warmth. The kind that will be around no matter you are the perfect kid, or the black sheep of the family. It will just warm you regardless of who you are.
'Tis the season, when I miss my mom the most.
Whatever I do not have in my life, I will give it to the one I love the most. After all, Christmas is my fav festive season.
# posted by gougou @ 1:13 AM 
