Sunday, December 31, 2006
New Year Ahead: 2007
Time flies when we least realize it, and to me, 2006 is a blurry of events and ongoings in my life that sped through these 365 days. So much for being 24, next yr is another year older.
Many things I can recall about 2006; of the fun times I had with the people here in IU, of my slacking 2 mths in army to fulfill my disruption, of meeting my family here in States, of friendship established. These I am grateful, and to many more things uncited but heartfelt. 2006 has been a good year. And I got a hunch 2007 will be even better.
To all whom may concern (thats you!): Have a great year end party and an awesome time having fun, keeping in mind to give thanks for the blessings that you receive. And I wish you have a smooth and bountiful year to come. God bless you.
Tonight, its out to paint the town red despite having diarrhoea for 3 fricking days and too thick headed to find a doctor to get some proper medicine. I guess some steak can do the trick! Maybe a little red wine to wash it down, just for good measure.
Many things I can recall about 2006; of the fun times I had with the people here in IU, of my slacking 2 mths in army to fulfill my disruption, of meeting my family here in States, of friendship established. These I am grateful, and to many more things uncited but heartfelt. 2006 has been a good year. And I got a hunch 2007 will be even better.
To all whom may concern (thats you!): Have a great year end party and an awesome time having fun, keeping in mind to give thanks for the blessings that you receive. And I wish you have a smooth and bountiful year to come. God bless you.
Tonight, its out to paint the town red despite having diarrhoea for 3 fricking days and too thick headed to find a doctor to get some proper medicine. I guess some steak can do the trick! Maybe a little red wine to wash it down, just for good measure.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Constraints
Working within our means, thats what I got today.
Its true, I cannot ask for more. Especially one like me, in such special circumstances. There are times where I do not fail to ask why me. But guess God has a plan for everyone. It is through this kind of constraints that I am maturing mentally. For good or for bad, I do not know. One thing for sure is that I will not let myself or anyone I hold dear to be in the same predictament as me. One mind working towards my goal.
Still, I understand the rationale. I comprehend the motive behind it. But maybe, everyone is in their individual unique situation that does not call for convention assessment. We always want something, whether its practical or not. And each individual who receives a gift uses it in their unique ways. Thats why God created so many individuals. We all have the freedom of choice.
When your choice gets restricted, you work within what is given to you. Never more. Try to push the limit and something may be taken away from you.
I am in between this fine line of sensitive zone. Cant help it, I'm born with it.
Still I work within my limits.
Whether I like it, or not. There is no choice in the first place. Such is my life.
Its true, I cannot ask for more. Especially one like me, in such special circumstances. There are times where I do not fail to ask why me. But guess God has a plan for everyone. It is through this kind of constraints that I am maturing mentally. For good or for bad, I do not know. One thing for sure is that I will not let myself or anyone I hold dear to be in the same predictament as me. One mind working towards my goal.
Still, I understand the rationale. I comprehend the motive behind it. But maybe, everyone is in their individual unique situation that does not call for convention assessment. We always want something, whether its practical or not. And each individual who receives a gift uses it in their unique ways. Thats why God created so many individuals. We all have the freedom of choice.
When your choice gets restricted, you work within what is given to you. Never more. Try to push the limit and something may be taken away from you.
I am in between this fine line of sensitive zone. Cant help it, I'm born with it.
Still I work within my limits.
Whether I like it, or not. There is no choice in the first place. Such is my life.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Reflect: Fall 2006
This semester has gone as fast as it came. It was pretty unsettling at the start, having alot of things on my mind and not mentally prepared for the semester at all. Through support of good friends like Jun who would love to dispense his famous "single line wisdom" to give me plenty to ponder about, and to illuminate me back on track. Friends like him are hard to come by, and should be cherished with both hands. Sounds marshy, but in life, you only need a few good friends whom you know you can trust your life with. At low points of your life, they are the ones who come in and make a difference. That's why I strongly believe and trust what they say.
On being the president for SSA, it is the support of many supporting friends that make alot of difference. In my mind, SSA is but a formal and collective term that we used to name our friendship bond of people from the same country, who bothers to come together and help one another in this unfamiliar land. Granted, as we adapt ourselves here, we tend to make judgments and search for our individual comfort zones among others. But the sole fact that we are one, and same from Singapore tells us that in dire situations, we will definitely stand together to support one another. It may not seem so as of now, but beyond that lies this truth. Everyone right now has their own objectives, motives and intentions. I do not choose my words lightly, but its true. Search within oneself and you will find it. I have it too. Everyone does. Sometimes it gets frustrating to be in the position where to have to make sure everyone is alright with an arrangement that you make, or just to be sure that people turn up. Its frustrating, but every president has this kind of problem. Because each one of us has their own agenda, its hard to ensure that the organization's will fit in with individual objectives. In my life experiences, I learn to be paitent. That one day, the paitence will pay off. There is no need to rush into things, or expect alot from someone. I believe that my committee has worked hard, and special mention must go to Linda, whom I feel is the most dedicated person on board. Without her, I will not be as motivated. She truly and unreservingly served the organization. I am not saying that the rest are not dedicated; our objectives just get murky as the time horizon stretches. Thanks to my ex-president, my roommate and the man who stays above me, for all the support and comfort. You guys are an understanding bunch.
This semester brought in new friends into the small social circle. I foresee more to come in the near future. Alas, as I have said before, I will go into being my recluse after my term. But like I said just now, we all are in one small social circle and we simply cannot ignore one another. I am a introvert by nature, but once in a while I like to stick my head out into the open to breathe some free air. I do not hang out does not mean I do not care. I do not say a word does not mean I do not comprehend. I do not seem to care does not mean I have no concern whatsoever. I do. And I would love to help. But I am also a guy who likes to stick his head in his own imaginary world, and love to be alone to do his own things. Such is my life, selfish as it seems to be. I always maintain that I am just a phone call away, for those who bother to look or find. I would not daggle myself on the rod, and tell others what I feel I can help them with. And I would help whenever possible or feasible.
I am glad to have many appreciative and kind friends among all of us. People who genuinely care. I can feel it deep down inside, and I thank God for them. As for others, I love to play the fool, because he is a fool and gets away with it. There is no need for me to spell out what they feel, because that's how they feel. I cannot change it, everyone is unique and has their own freedom to think and thought and feel. I just cannot be bothered to change their perspectives. Why should I? I may be just a guy walking past their lives in this short period of time. Half a year after we separate, I will be forgotten. I do not justify this kind of effort. God ask us to love our neighbors but love our enemies more. I do not have enemies, nor I see one in my eyes. So there is no enemy at all to love.
Thank you, for all your support! It is crucial for me to tide through this difficult semester. I hope I have of some aid to you just like you helped me over this semester. Hope we have a better semester to come!
God is kind to me over this semester. I was showered with blessings I do not deserve, primarily for the effort I put in. Too many times I had so much fun that I wasted my time, too many times I occupy myself and waddle in my own small pool of misery, and too many times have I simply give up on myself. But the semester's come and gone. And hopefully it will be a better one next year.
There are times when I maintain that I do not need someone in my life, as one of my friends pointed out. Screaming that I love being alone, and thus do not need someone in my life. I still maintain that position. Since my summer in Singapore, I learn that effort needs to be a two-way traffic. I refuse to be the only one giving anymore. I am sick and tired and pretty much banged up by being too nice. And until I find someone who is wiling to maintain the same values with me, I would love my peace and quiet and my wonderous company of my friends. I know what I am capable of treating a lady, but I have no wish to do so till I am certain that she can be understanding to my cause. Till then, I will be the "gay" that everyone brands me to be. Nothing wrong, just that it sounds abit sick. In my limited field of relationships, I was truly transformed by my ex-gf. To me, she is still the gear that I am stuck with, until I can find another gear to switch into. But I have decided to put my foot down on this: I will not be in a position where I trouble myself over issues of a relationship when I am not in one. I simply cannot justify the pain and agony I had gone through over someone who is not mine (read: dude). Late nights and complete shattering of my heart and soul. Is this what I deserve for liking a person? Not that I see it. Neither can I comprehend. I will not be able to suffer through another one like this. No more nonsense, I am getting old here.
Till someone who fits the bill looks over here, I will go on with my life and into my new semester.
On being the president for SSA, it is the support of many supporting friends that make alot of difference. In my mind, SSA is but a formal and collective term that we used to name our friendship bond of people from the same country, who bothers to come together and help one another in this unfamiliar land. Granted, as we adapt ourselves here, we tend to make judgments and search for our individual comfort zones among others. But the sole fact that we are one, and same from Singapore tells us that in dire situations, we will definitely stand together to support one another. It may not seem so as of now, but beyond that lies this truth. Everyone right now has their own objectives, motives and intentions. I do not choose my words lightly, but its true. Search within oneself and you will find it. I have it too. Everyone does. Sometimes it gets frustrating to be in the position where to have to make sure everyone is alright with an arrangement that you make, or just to be sure that people turn up. Its frustrating, but every president has this kind of problem. Because each one of us has their own agenda, its hard to ensure that the organization's will fit in with individual objectives. In my life experiences, I learn to be paitent. That one day, the paitence will pay off. There is no need to rush into things, or expect alot from someone. I believe that my committee has worked hard, and special mention must go to Linda, whom I feel is the most dedicated person on board. Without her, I will not be as motivated. She truly and unreservingly served the organization. I am not saying that the rest are not dedicated; our objectives just get murky as the time horizon stretches. Thanks to my ex-president, my roommate and the man who stays above me, for all the support and comfort. You guys are an understanding bunch.
This semester brought in new friends into the small social circle. I foresee more to come in the near future. Alas, as I have said before, I will go into being my recluse after my term. But like I said just now, we all are in one small social circle and we simply cannot ignore one another. I am a introvert by nature, but once in a while I like to stick my head out into the open to breathe some free air. I do not hang out does not mean I do not care. I do not say a word does not mean I do not comprehend. I do not seem to care does not mean I have no concern whatsoever. I do. And I would love to help. But I am also a guy who likes to stick his head in his own imaginary world, and love to be alone to do his own things. Such is my life, selfish as it seems to be. I always maintain that I am just a phone call away, for those who bother to look or find. I would not daggle myself on the rod, and tell others what I feel I can help them with. And I would help whenever possible or feasible.
I am glad to have many appreciative and kind friends among all of us. People who genuinely care. I can feel it deep down inside, and I thank God for them. As for others, I love to play the fool, because he is a fool and gets away with it. There is no need for me to spell out what they feel, because that's how they feel. I cannot change it, everyone is unique and has their own freedom to think and thought and feel. I just cannot be bothered to change their perspectives. Why should I? I may be just a guy walking past their lives in this short period of time. Half a year after we separate, I will be forgotten. I do not justify this kind of effort. God ask us to love our neighbors but love our enemies more. I do not have enemies, nor I see one in my eyes. So there is no enemy at all to love.
Thank you, for all your support! It is crucial for me to tide through this difficult semester. I hope I have of some aid to you just like you helped me over this semester. Hope we have a better semester to come!
God is kind to me over this semester. I was showered with blessings I do not deserve, primarily for the effort I put in. Too many times I had so much fun that I wasted my time, too many times I occupy myself and waddle in my own small pool of misery, and too many times have I simply give up on myself. But the semester's come and gone. And hopefully it will be a better one next year.
There are times when I maintain that I do not need someone in my life, as one of my friends pointed out. Screaming that I love being alone, and thus do not need someone in my life. I still maintain that position. Since my summer in Singapore, I learn that effort needs to be a two-way traffic. I refuse to be the only one giving anymore. I am sick and tired and pretty much banged up by being too nice. And until I find someone who is wiling to maintain the same values with me, I would love my peace and quiet and my wonderous company of my friends. I know what I am capable of treating a lady, but I have no wish to do so till I am certain that she can be understanding to my cause. Till then, I will be the "gay" that everyone brands me to be. Nothing wrong, just that it sounds abit sick. In my limited field of relationships, I was truly transformed by my ex-gf. To me, she is still the gear that I am stuck with, until I can find another gear to switch into. But I have decided to put my foot down on this: I will not be in a position where I trouble myself over issues of a relationship when I am not in one. I simply cannot justify the pain and agony I had gone through over someone who is not mine (read: dude). Late nights and complete shattering of my heart and soul. Is this what I deserve for liking a person? Not that I see it. Neither can I comprehend. I will not be able to suffer through another one like this. No more nonsense, I am getting old here.
Till someone who fits the bill looks over here, I will go on with my life and into my new semester.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
外婆
今天是外婆生日
我换上复古西装
载着外婆开着拉风的古董车兜兜兜风
车里放着她的最爱
找回属於是她的时代
往大稻埋码头开去把所有和外公的往事静静回忆
外婆她脸上的涟漪
美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情
弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前桌上放六佰就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命
赚钱少了关怀有什麽意义
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六佰块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河畔
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
记得去年外婆的生日
表哥带我和外婆参加
她最最重视的颁奖典礼
结果却拿不到半个奖
不知该笑不笑
我对着镜头傻笑
只觉得自己可笑
我难过
却不是因为没有得奖而难过
我失落
是因为看到外婆失落而失落
大人们根本不能体会表哥他的用心
好像随他们高兴就可以彻底的否定
否定
我的作品
决定在於心情
想坚持风格他们却觉得还欧颗
没惊喜没有改变
我已经听了三年
我告诉外婆
我没输
不需要改变
表哥说不要觉得可惜
这只是一场游戏
只要外婆觉得好听
那才是一种鼓励
外婆露出了笑容说她以我为荣
浅浅的笑容
就让我感到比得奖它还要光荣
I miss you alot, ah ma. Now I understand why you want me to be in Singapore.
我换上复古西装
载着外婆开着拉风的古董车兜兜兜风
车里放着她的最爱
找回属於是她的时代
往大稻埋码头开去把所有和外公的往事静静回忆
外婆她脸上的涟漪
美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情
弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前桌上放六佰就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命
赚钱少了关怀有什麽意义
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六佰块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白
走在淡水河畔
听着她的最爱
把温暖放回口袋
记得去年外婆的生日
表哥带我和外婆参加
她最最重视的颁奖典礼
结果却拿不到半个奖
不知该笑不笑
我对着镜头傻笑
只觉得自己可笑
我难过
却不是因为没有得奖而难过
我失落
是因为看到外婆失落而失落
大人们根本不能体会表哥他的用心
好像随他们高兴就可以彻底的否定
否定
我的作品
决定在於心情
想坚持风格他们却觉得还欧颗
没惊喜没有改变
我已经听了三年
我告诉外婆
我没输
不需要改变
表哥说不要觉得可惜
这只是一场游戏
只要外婆觉得好听
那才是一种鼓励
外婆露出了笑容说她以我为荣
浅浅的笑容
就让我感到比得奖它还要光荣
I miss you alot, ah ma. Now I understand why you want me to be in Singapore.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
On the eve of my break
Oh-So-No-Mood-To-Study
Still got my last paper, A207. Not panic or in a frenzy though (as you can see I'm still leisurely typing my blog). I just cannot wait for 7pm tmw (and of course, to complete my readings and practice). Think when I step out of the exam venue, I will scream my head off. It's been a crazy semester, with extreme ups and downs (and hangovers). Seems like I am cramping my life experiences all in 3mths. Sounds exaggerating? You have no idea...
I am jotting down on my whiteboard a list of to-dos. Just in case I am in another mood of "how come when I am having exams, there seems so many things to do, only to find out that I forgot it all when I'm done with exams". No way. Next semester will be crazier than this, and I'm optimizing my break this time round. Some include "watch my korean drama", "burn CDs", etc. I just hope I am not bored, maybe even plan a short trip somewhere for the festive season within my constraints.
There seem so much to reflect over this semester's work. Thank God for His continued blessings. Think I will put my foot down and go to church regularly. Think there is no excuse I can come up. And I have not been exactly the student I ought to be, too concerned about the fun or kicks I can get out of my academic life here in IU. And yes, I was kindly reminded that I am turning 25, that turn out to be a quarter of a century or a third of my life (pls dun let me live that long). Reflect on things that call of my attention, and my path onwards. My sis was joking yesterday that she sees my "bright" future down the road. Honestly, I was ashamed to even think about it. I am not granted the luxury of time, and there is alot of catching-up I have to do. No way for me to stop and take a breather, since I didn't have anything to start in the first place. Decisions to make, plans to decide. Sounds like a maze to me.
命里有实终须有，命里无实末强求
There are times when I hope and wish and pray that God grants me such resources for me to use. Sometimes the comparison becomes such an obssession that I can only sigh and pat myself myself on the back, dwelling in my own self-pity. I am constantly reminded that there is always a reason for me to work hard. How to take a break? Considering I do not have anything, except myself and my beliefs. There aint anything for me to fall back on. It will be make or break. And I realize there isnt anything to compare in the first place. We are all on different playing fields. There are times when I wish I have someone to look up to for guidance, to depend on and not probing blindly. Too many wrong turns I have taken. I have to build everything from scratch. Not an easy path, but there isn't any choice left. While I'm on it, looking around to others on similar paths seems very discouraging. But as the phrase said,"If you are fated to have something in you life, you will receive in the end; otherwise, do not wish too hard for it." The disappointment may be too great to handle in the end.
On a lighter note, I think a steak after exams is very tempting. Think I will do just that, some prime ribs with sauce. Excellent choice from Texas Roadhouse. Life, is filled with so many beautiful things. Think I will enjoy a stroll looking at the stars after that. =)
Still got my last paper, A207. Not panic or in a frenzy though (as you can see I'm still leisurely typing my blog). I just cannot wait for 7pm tmw (and of course, to complete my readings and practice). Think when I step out of the exam venue, I will scream my head off. It's been a crazy semester, with extreme ups and downs (and hangovers). Seems like I am cramping my life experiences all in 3mths. Sounds exaggerating? You have no idea...
I am jotting down on my whiteboard a list of to-dos. Just in case I am in another mood of "how come when I am having exams, there seems so many things to do, only to find out that I forgot it all when I'm done with exams". No way. Next semester will be crazier than this, and I'm optimizing my break this time round. Some include "watch my korean drama", "burn CDs", etc. I just hope I am not bored, maybe even plan a short trip somewhere for the festive season within my constraints.
There seem so much to reflect over this semester's work. Thank God for His continued blessings. Think I will put my foot down and go to church regularly. Think there is no excuse I can come up. And I have not been exactly the student I ought to be, too concerned about the fun or kicks I can get out of my academic life here in IU. And yes, I was kindly reminded that I am turning 25, that turn out to be a quarter of a century or a third of my life (pls dun let me live that long). Reflect on things that call of my attention, and my path onwards. My sis was joking yesterday that she sees my "bright" future down the road. Honestly, I was ashamed to even think about it. I am not granted the luxury of time, and there is alot of catching-up I have to do. No way for me to stop and take a breather, since I didn't have anything to start in the first place. Decisions to make, plans to decide. Sounds like a maze to me.
命里有实终须有，命里无实末强求
There are times when I hope and wish and pray that God grants me such resources for me to use. Sometimes the comparison becomes such an obssession that I can only sigh and pat myself myself on the back, dwelling in my own self-pity. I am constantly reminded that there is always a reason for me to work hard. How to take a break? Considering I do not have anything, except myself and my beliefs. There aint anything for me to fall back on. It will be make or break. And I realize there isnt anything to compare in the first place. We are all on different playing fields. There are times when I wish I have someone to look up to for guidance, to depend on and not probing blindly. Too many wrong turns I have taken. I have to build everything from scratch. Not an easy path, but there isn't any choice left. While I'm on it, looking around to others on similar paths seems very discouraging. But as the phrase said,"If you are fated to have something in you life, you will receive in the end; otherwise, do not wish too hard for it." The disappointment may be too great to handle in the end.
On a lighter note, I think a steak after exams is very tempting. Think I will do just that, some prime ribs with sauce. Excellent choice from Texas Roadhouse. Life, is filled with so many beautiful things. Think I will enjoy a stroll looking at the stars after that. =)
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Nonsense Ramblings of a Troubled Student
When I type the word "Student", it simply reminds of me K310 Student's distribution, aka t-distribution for small sample size n <= 30 that is not supported by the Central Limit Theorem, which makes it not able to approx it normally. Thus the use of t-distribution for all small samples. And when sample size is too small to approx something too big i.e. crime rates, use (x+2)/(n+4). Then again, there may be comparison between individual samples, thus use Chapter 9 comparison against populations for proportions, which I cannot remember the formula because we are allowed to use 2 6 by 4 cards for our formulas. I am very confused why there is so many formulas for small sample size comparisons. And I am not sure which one to use. And the exam is on Tue, which I do not have time to study since I still got 5 more chapters of X202 to read (which I read before earlier in the semester) but just cant seem to remember at all. And I need to read this because I majorly screwed up my X202 practical and there you go, who says michael doesnt screw up?!? Not that I am stressed that I am typing this blog, but I am sick and tired of reading about dead people who contributed their entire lives to music, only to have people from my century to critic or praise them when they could not hear them and accept or refute these details. Best of all, I am hearing Haydn's Symphony no. NINETY-FOUR "The Surprise". I mean, where got people chia ba ka eng to write 104 symphonies?!? Plus he's got to carry his master's balls so that he could keep his intact. And he's got to conduct, write new music, and set such a high standard of precedence and only to be spoilt by the current generation's music. Plus people still got to "quote" his music and there's even a genre called Quotation Music. Why would people want to quote their music and how come last time no copyright laws? Don't they get pissed when other people copy their work? Reminds me of this scenario: Haydn "Aye Beethoven, how come you copy my work?" Beethoven "Aye siao eh, where got your name on this piece of music? My tou-gay on the score is bigger than urs leh, so it covers 2 lines instead of one. And there is no copy right. So sue me." Right, just like I said, they are dead, so this conversation is imaginery. But since they are Mentor/Student relationship, guess they will have this kinda conversation quite often, especially when Beethoven do not like Haydn and went secretly to find another mentor (btw, this is from my reader, not that I come up with something so nonsensical). I wonder how much they earn last time to write a piece of music. After all, aint these pieces of music very subjective and appeals to different people's aesthetic sense? So if publisher A say "Hmm good music, but abit dark Beethoven. I don't think Venice people will like it." Beethoven "HAR? WHAT YOU SAY? I CANT HEAR YOU!" Publisher A "Aye, I just say it may not appeal to the interest of people in Venice. Don't have to shut off things you don't like to hear" Beethoven "WHAT? I REALLY CANT HEAR YOU!" Publisher A "That's it! Are you deaf or something?!" Beethoven "DEAF? NOOOO NOOO DON'T SAY THAT *plucks hair* NO DUN SAY THAT..." *Symphony No. 5 Movement 1 starts playing its rhythmic melody short-short-short-long* As those business students may not know, Beethoven had hearing problems when he was about 28 and was deaf by the time he submitted his Symphony No. 9 with the famous Ode to Joy. And of course, who in the right frame of mind will reject the Venice 1st wave of famous composers (Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven)? But then again, I would not say that same thing for the 2nd wave of composers (Schoenberg, Alban, Webern) who composed using the 12-tone system. Absolutely no respect for the dead. Tsktsk. I think Mozart will turn in his grave and complain to Beethoven beside him "Aye siao eh, I think we better pretend to be dead. Its a mess up there." Speaking of Mozart, I absolutely love his opera "Don Giovanni". How the hell did he predict how people turn out to be like that? Ok lah, since this generation some believe its alright to have more than one gf, I think its alright for Don Juan to have 1,003 lovers in Spain, 640 in Italy, 231 in Germany, 100 in France, 91 in Turkey. And who is the most sickening person in the play? His friend-servant Leporello. He watched his master have sex with almost 2,000 girls! Damn... talk about free porn.
All these nonsense, some are true. But most of them are just posted for your entertainment value. Just for a laugh. =) study hard people!
All these nonsense, some are true. But most of them are just posted for your entertainment value. Just for a laugh. =) study hard people!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
施文斌: Hello Angel
Hello Angel
香 (2004東海堂冰皮月餅廣告歌)
窩 作詞:施文斌 作曲:施文斌 監製:施文斌
‧
藍 * 既然睡不了 既然吃不好
藍 不如就黑夜熬到破曉
香 竟然看不到 你的心在跳
提 但是你讓我看不清未來 *
供
‧ # 銀白色月光下微笑 說你是上帝給我的天使
歌 但是你沒想微笑 不相信你 #
詞
香 @ Hello angel angel angel angel
窩 yes I love you yes I love you
‧ Hello angel angel angel angel
藍 yes I love you yes I love you
藍
香 白 : 夜晚我們睡不了覺竟因為有你
提 興奮的說了很多很多無關緊要的話題
供 在這複雜的世界裡找到一點天真
‧ 和你一起擁有輕鬆快樂的感覺
歌 我站著坐著笑著 心早已不知飛到哪里去
詞
香 Repeat * # @
窩 空的沙灘留下你的腳印 哪里是 不相信你
‧ 未來的你是 上帝給我的天使
藍 但是你沒想微笑 不相信你 Repeat @
Christmas
Love Christmas!
Maybe its the builtup in preparation for this awesome season. About gathering with your loved ones. Sharing and giving mood that everyone is in, about warmth and love.
If I have a wish this year, I would wish for one perfect Christmas Day in my lifetime. Complete with a perfect Christmas eve dinner, sitting around the fire with friends and family talking shop. When the clock strikes 12, we exchange presents and Christmas carols playing in the back drop. The day will be perfect with snow outside, wind blowing slightly. Christmas tree decorated with presents placed abundantly under it. The anticipation of gift exchange, the warmth from the fire and the love from family and friends. How perfect.
Maybe, sometimes, I am asking and imagining too much. Things that do not seems plausible.
At least, I dream.
Maybe its the builtup in preparation for this awesome season. About gathering with your loved ones. Sharing and giving mood that everyone is in, about warmth and love.
If I have a wish this year, I would wish for one perfect Christmas Day in my lifetime. Complete with a perfect Christmas eve dinner, sitting around the fire with friends and family talking shop. When the clock strikes 12, we exchange presents and Christmas carols playing in the back drop. The day will be perfect with snow outside, wind blowing slightly. Christmas tree decorated with presents placed abundantly under it. The anticipation of gift exchange, the warmth from the fire and the love from family and friends. How perfect.
Maybe, sometimes, I am asking and imagining too much. Things that do not seems plausible.
At least, I dream.
Exam Destress
So I was having dinner with my friend when she mentioned about vicious cycle about how she likes to stay at home to watch TV. I totally feel its nothing wrong, and if there's any chance I would own a plasma TV with 200+ channels at my disposal 24/7, count me in to couch there and catch all movies that interest me. So she mentioned that, when she stayed in to watch TV and eat in, she put on some weight (where got?) and when she put on weight, she doesnt want to go out to meet people or wear going out clothes. And when she doesnt want to go out, she stays at home to continue watching TV. And the cycle continues. Before you think that I am rambling at someone's plight, that's not how I look at it. I totally agree with the concept of vicious cycle, and it applies to things we do that we are oblivion about. Take for example, one pitfall which I try very hard to avoid. At the start of the semester, you promise yourself to work hard for the semester so that at least when it comes to the end of the sem, you can give yourself a little less pressure on your finals. So when the first exam comes around the corner, I would think that since this is the first exam, shouldn't be too hard to score for it. Thus I would not study as hard. When the results turn out, I score lesser than expected. I start to think that its the course that is a pain in the ass, and start rejecting it, hating it. When the second exam comes around, I will not be as motivated to study, but there will be a nagging feeling to study for it. Yet when the results do not turn out my way, I get more pissed. Vicious cycle.
Somehow, this reinforces the negative feeling you have about some subject. And when you reach a point, you totally reject the subject. Vicious cycle comes into play especially with relationships with your peers. Negative-feeling reinforcement about someone. You start to pick out nitty-gritty wrongdoings about a person, and such feelings get reinforced. Vicious cycle. Honestly, I think this is how shit gets stirred. All without giving the poor person a chance to explain his position. (Btw, this is just my tots. No one is referred in this scenario. Dun assume!)
Frankly, when I spot myself getting into one of such cycles, I will like to break away. Not as easy, since you are breaking from what your feelings assume is correct behavior, especially when you are challenging yourself to view this situation from a bigger perspective. No one likes it. At least I try lah, gimme the credit. At least I told myself this winter shall not be like the last one, no way in hell am I going to go down the slope to eat, drink and be merry without giving my health priority consideration. Or least I cannot stand the sight of myself to put on weight (truth!). Look good, feel good; healthy body, healthy mind. That is a positive cycle I like to adopt. Not all habitual cycles are bad!
Exams sucks. As much as I am telling myself that this sem pose a challenge unlike the past 2, I cant think past the thought that I have a TON to read and memorize, and on top of that, I still got to absorb new materials taught during dead week. Well done, didn't realize 15 credits can do so much damage to my already-diminishing brain cells (due to drinking). From my friends who ask what classes I take next sem, seems like I am getting a clearer perspective of the huge workload I'm carrying in spring. Well done, talk about challenging myself. Bo bian ah! Suck it up, take it like a man since its my decision. Always do the best that you can in situations that you cannot change. (X202: that will be constraints, formed to limit the feasible set and find the optimal objective function) Okay my brain is kinda congested right now. So much for de stress.
Somehow, this reinforces the negative feeling you have about some subject. And when you reach a point, you totally reject the subject. Vicious cycle comes into play especially with relationships with your peers. Negative-feeling reinforcement about someone. You start to pick out nitty-gritty wrongdoings about a person, and such feelings get reinforced. Vicious cycle. Honestly, I think this is how shit gets stirred. All without giving the poor person a chance to explain his position. (Btw, this is just my tots. No one is referred in this scenario. Dun assume!)
Frankly, when I spot myself getting into one of such cycles, I will like to break away. Not as easy, since you are breaking from what your feelings assume is correct behavior, especially when you are challenging yourself to view this situation from a bigger perspective. No one likes it. At least I try lah, gimme the credit. At least I told myself this winter shall not be like the last one, no way in hell am I going to go down the slope to eat, drink and be merry without giving my health priority consideration. Or least I cannot stand the sight of myself to put on weight (truth!). Look good, feel good; healthy body, healthy mind. That is a positive cycle I like to adopt. Not all habitual cycles are bad!
Exams sucks. As much as I am telling myself that this sem pose a challenge unlike the past 2, I cant think past the thought that I have a TON to read and memorize, and on top of that, I still got to absorb new materials taught during dead week. Well done, didn't realize 15 credits can do so much damage to my already-diminishing brain cells (due to drinking). From my friends who ask what classes I take next sem, seems like I am getting a clearer perspective of the huge workload I'm carrying in spring. Well done, talk about challenging myself. Bo bian ah! Suck it up, take it like a man since its my decision. Always do the best that you can in situations that you cannot change. (X202: that will be constraints, formed to limit the feasible set and find the optimal objective function) Okay my brain is kinda congested right now. So much for de stress.
